Weighing heavy on my mind, and my heart...this one is tough to write.
My husband, my best friend and love of my life was recently diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a blood cancer that affects the bone marrow.
It’s still sinking in. I’m still asking, why did this happen to him? How is this now our life? I keep thinking I’m having one of those horrible nightmares that I’m gonna wake up from, and say “whew” thank goodness that was just a dream. But I’m not. It’s not just a bad dream. It’s real. And I'm scared.
One of the greatest things about being an artist is that I can express all of my emotions, the good, the bad and the unthinkable, through my work. So, after weeks of feeling paralyzed by sadness and fear, I decided to make myself this FUCK CANCER bracelet. On the outside it looks like a simple textured silver cuff. On the inside it’s stamped, a private reminder in a way, of the fight that lies ahead. It keeps me in a space of gratitude for each and every moment we get to share. Even the rough ones, and the pain filled ones. It’s a reminder of how huge our love is, and how there is so much life yet to be lived. And how lucky we are to love so deeply.
My husband doesn’t wear much jewelry. His wedding ring and occasionally his Army ring, but that’s it except for his watch. When I showed him my bracelet, surprisingly he said he would wear one too, if I made it for him. We’ve been married for almost 11-years, and I’ve never made him a piece of jewelry.
I felt empowered, making his bracelet. Something I could control. With every strike of the hammer, every stamped letter, every pop of the flame, every bend and every mark, I willed him to heal. I wished for his pain to subside. It has to count for something, right?
So, we will wear our matching bracelets, like armor, and we’ll wage war on his cancer. Together. We’ll cherish every single laugh and giggle. Moments together napping or watching football. I’m honored to be his caretaker. To have his complete trust that I have his back. We’re in this together. We’re a united front. Fuck you cancer. Just fuck the hell off.
NOTE: At this time, I have no plans to list this bracelet on my website. It’s too personal right now. However, I know SO many of you have been touched by cancer, either yourselves or a loved one. If a bracelet like this might help you or someone you love, please reach out to me directly for a custom order.